Humble servant of the Nation

The NEG lottery winners and losers

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It is said lotteries are a tax on people who are too stupid to understand probability. The chances of winning the $100 million Powerball draw last night were 134 million to one. Yet it seems buying a lottery ticket is a better investment than AMP super.

An AMP executive admitted at Royal Commission hearings in Melbourne yesterday that an investor who ponied up with $100,000 would find his nest egg whittled away eventually to nothing. Adding interest minus commissions and fees, the unlucky punter would have lost almost $500 after three years.

Australia’s largest wealth manager has promised to provide some 12,500 existing investors a share of $5 million in compensation.

Meanwhile two unidentified people who are too stupid to understand probability pocketed a breezy $50 million each.

The Turnbull government was dragged kicking and screaming to announce the Financial Services Royal Commission. In the end it was left to the big banks to give it the green light. In public hearings where bank and finance company executives have been forced to make admissions of chronic malfeasance if not downright criminality, have shown not only that this Royal Commission was necessary, but that it should have happened years ago.

The Great Barrier Reef Foundation experienced the mother of all windfalls when it was handed $443 million by the government. The only difference is the GBRF did not actually buy a ticket in this lottery, nor did it excitedly flip through the back of the paper looking for the numbers.

The foundation’s chair, John Schubert, chairman of the Garvan Medical Research Institute, a former Esso CEO, former chair of the Commonwealth Bank and previously a director of BHP Billiton and Qantas, merely turned up to a meeting in Sydney on 9 April in an office where the only other two attendees, Malcolm Turnbull and Environment and Energy Minister, Josh Frydenberg, cut him a cheque.

At face value, it smacks of a Turnbull captain’s choice. The reasons for the almost half billion-dollar one off largesse, however, are more complicated and go to a $716 million spending commitment the Turnbull government made to UNESCO last year to ensure the Great Barrier Reef retained its World Heritage listing.

In other words, the Turnbull government can say the money or most of it has left its coffers although not a brass razoo has yet been spent on saving the reef and in all probability, the GBRF will have to contract government departments to assist in providing services.

Maybe the government’s best and perhaps only chance of re-election is to give $443 million to everyone who didn’t ask for it.

18 months ago, at Bill Leak’s wake, I had a discussion with two political observers of some note over a beer. I asked them how long they expected the Liberal Party to remain in its current form, structure and with the political muscle it has historically enjoyed. One, who is closer to the Liberal Party than the other, remained silent. The other suggested five to ten years. Two, I told them. And then I told them why.

The Liberal Party today is not the party of Menzies nor even of Howard. It is a party laced with intrinsic ideological conflict combined with toxic personality rivalries. These stresses and strains were going to be sorely tested over the same sex marriage issue but taken to the point of explosion over energy policy.

And here we are.

The amusing thing is voters haven’t got a clue what all the fuss is about.

One of the points of anger is that Turnbull has not sold or even adequately explained what the NEG is and how it will work within his own party room. What is even more bizarre is the people who vote them in or out have been wilfully left ignorant.

Whenever prime ministers and ministers of the crown babble in acronyms, the battle is already lost. One can almost the feel the eyes of a nation glaze over, the aggregated shifting of arse cheeks on couches and the collective reach for the remote.

Acronyms are a politician’s worst enemy, the tool of the lazy and/or uncertain. The punters may not oppose the policy. They simply have no idea what is being proposed. In the case of the NEG, all they will see is an unseemly brawl within the government. They may see resignations of cabinet ministers, they may see the prime minister toppled and replaced by a person they barely know.

They may witness a fully blown schism within the Liberal Party either before the next election or directly in its wake. I can virtually guarantee it.

The internal feud over energy policy is not just another nail in the coffin of the Turnbull government’s re-election prospects. It is a 15-centimetre long, galvanised, zinc-coated roofing nail that will keep the lid firmly shut. There will be no beyond the crypt Karloffian reanimations here.

We could trace the Liberal Party’s decline back many years. Suffice to say, it began in earnest on 14 September 2015 when Turnbull rolled a sitting prime minister. The stated reasons for doing so made no sense then and even less now.

Turnbull has failed to connect with voters, and if you asked any one of them what the Turnbull government is about, what it stands for, and what its agenda is, they could not tell you. That’s not the voter’s fault, by the way. The Turnbull government is bereft of purpose or direction.

The disconnect was reinforced in Turnbull’s awful performance in the 2016 election where Tony Abbott’s enormous majority was hacked back to just one.

Turnbull was outcampaigned by Shorten, routinely outplayed and outsmarted.

The double dissolution election that Turnbull faithfully assured the nation would sort the Senate out once and for all did precisely the reverse, and left the Upper House the sort of rolling freak show that the election of the Bearded Lady or Lobster Boy would only have raised the tone of the joint.

In the recent ‘Super Saturday’ by-elections, we saw Turnbull wagging his finger at voters, more interested in winning arguments than votes.

Bill Shorten already has a copy of the NEG draft legislation while Turnbull’s own partyroom does not. That tells you everything you need to know about where Turnbull’s best chances of survival lie. Labor will be disinclined to throw him a lifeline. Anyone who has witnessed Labor’s conduct over the last 20 years knows it regards the national interest as falling a long way back in second place to its own.

It is in Labor’s interests to stand back and watch the government tear itself apart.

You know, some days Shorten must feel like he’s won the lottery.

This column was first published in The Australian 17 August 2018. 

291 Comments

  • Boadicea says:

    Well i never. Bishop Condie tells us today that he is selling off 108 country churches on order to raise redress funds ” out of compassion to do the right thing by survivors of sexual abuse.”
    Um, have you any compassion for the country parishioners you are selling out? No doubt there will be 108 divine rustic Airbnb’s soon.
    Sell a couple of the high profile ones that have about 10 active attendees, Bishop Condie

    • Jack The Insider says:

      Or maybe the money spent on advertising opposing SSM could have been better saved.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Pah! I couldn’t give a rats if they sold the parishioners off as slaves in order to do the right thing by survivors of sexual abuse. If there weren’t parishioners there wouldn’t be priests. Some things can never be made right, they can share the pain and inconvenience of at least trying.

      Keep an eye out for Huon pine pews for me will you? I want to corner the market on those units, otherwise the punters will get them too cheap.

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    A little online game, Mr. Insider, titled “When Will Malcolm Call An Election” but I have retitled “When Will We Vote Malcolm OUT!”
    https://tinyurl.com/y8d7jr6r

  • Jean Baptiste says:

    Carl on the Coast previous. I’m not sure what you consider to be a similar environment to the bizarre and frankly creepy institutions of worshippers of invisible gods, but perhaps the threat of a mandatory castration of offenders might help.
    As for “withering”, I think those rings might constitute torture.

  • JackSprat says:

    On the NEG – what an awful mess.
    This place is ungovernable and getting worse every day.
    Canberra should be shifted into the real world where they, pollies and public service, have to brush up against the people they affect on a daily basis.

    • Dwight says:

      Pretty much every capital city in the Western world suffers from the same disease.

      • JackSprat says:

        Not really Dwight

        US, Canada, Brazil are the ones that come to mind that have a capital city that is purely administrative

        London,Rome, Paris,Berlin,Moscow, Tokyo, Beijing to name a few on the other side.

    • Mack the Knife says:

      From the previous topic and this post JS, I think this covers a lot of it. “When the house leaks, it’s from the roof down”, old Vietnamese saying.

      • Trivalve says:

        Doesn’t explain the floods in Hoi An a couple of years back.

        • Mack the Knife says:

          That was the rivers leaking, not the house.

        • Dismayed says:

          Unprecedented rain and squalls off Vung Tau recently. The old semi had to shut down a couple of times. The local guys, all very experienced, said they had never seen anything like it before in those months.

  • Trivalve says:

    And now Turnbull has ditched the Paris target (allegedly).

    I was in a syndicate last night, along with a chunk of the ABS and a bunch of mathematicians. Hope springs eternal.

  • Milton says:

    Jean Baptiste would sign a stat dec confirming I’m stupid, but sadly my level of stupidity is not good enough to win me 50 big ones. Alas I’m not worthy of being an arsehole or an armpit!
    And come off the grass, Jack if the odds are that bloody out there how did 2 lots get them?

    Apropos your post, I believe the liberal parties decline into an incoherent and non-cohesive unit began when Howard lost the election and no cojones Costello chose to abnegate authority over the party. Certainly the entry of Turnbull into the party pre-dated this and his presence, without doubt, is a major contributor to the fall. However, Costello was more than capable in articulating to the public, and destroying in QT, the ineptitude and joke that was Rudd and Swan and Gillard. Moreover, despite the inevitable Turnbull leaks, his record would have seen off any Turnbull challenge [sheesh even the unelectable Abbott beat him at one time]. And so sadly, Costello’s desertion played a role in my man Abbott taking the big job many years before he was fully prepared. And Abbott’s biggest mistake was not making Turnbull treasurer.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Well that’s handy, I’ve got a JP living next door. It’s a bit early to be knocking on his door but I’m very excited.

      https://cleantechnica.com/2018/08/01/horrific-fires-in-northern-california-do-little-to-change-attitudes-on-climate-change/

      • Milton says:

        Your neighbours a JP, JB? Poor chap must feel like there is no justice in his world and very little peace. Anywho, he should be up by now, so get that paper signed and add congenital idiot to it (there may be some govt largesse in it for me!).
        Hugs and kisses,
        Milt

        • Jean Baptiste says:

          Make up your mind! I cant be to and froing to next door! Actually I feel better about the adjusted “congenital idiot” document than the first one which was open to speculation.

          https://journals.openedition.org/ejas/10305

        • Perentie says:

          I lived in Queensland in the 1990s. At times I needed the services of a JP and I was amazed at how many people were (allegedly) legitimate JPs. Are there different requirements in Queensland compared to Australia? Is everybody automatically a JP unless they’re in jail?

      • Mack the Knife says:

        Bet you keep him busy JB, lol.

    • Trivalve says:

      It’s not the number of players Milton, it’s the number of games. You multiply by 10 for every entry for starters.

      Abbott will never be ready. Costello – pffft. I don’t think Bob Menzies could get them over the line next time around. There’ll be some interesting histories written about this period.

    • Tracy says:

      Abbott isn’t fit to be PM Milton, he’s not fit to represent Warringah.
      All he knows is how to tear down and if that leaves the Liberal party in tatters, he doesn’t care.
      Nobody benefits from having a weakened opposition party (as they will be) Rudd’s poisoned pill in regards to the Labor leadership is the only thing that has saved Shorten and unfortunately will see his bum on the PM’s chair, and like Abbott he doesn’t stand for anything.
      Rather see Albanese even though I don’t necessarily agree with him politically, he would be a steady hand.
      Turnbull is a huge disappointment, you can’t run a government with the continual backbiting and bitching from the back bench while being a legend in your own lunchtime with no political nous whatsoever

      • smoke says:

        so how does the swine hold warringah? seriously

        • Tracy says:

          I honestly have no idea in fact I’m buggered if I know. His various meetings when he bothers to turn up seem to have more older Australians than not.
          Always felt a good local independent could see him off but they’d need serious money for the campaign,

      • Milton says:

        Pretty sure Turnbull did his fair share backbiting, bitching and leaking, Tracy. It’s called sour grapes when Abbott, having done the hard yards and got the gig and then been undermined by Turnbull as a result of polling. does it but not when Turnbull did it. Savva should realise how one eyed she has been of late.

        • Tracy says:

          No doubt, Abbotts “hard yards” were anyone but Rudd/Gillard.
          Shorten’s not even doing the hard yards because Abbott’s doing his work for him, anyone but Abbott/Turnbull

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    If Turnbull was to walk across a paddock, Mr. Insider he would tread in every Cowpat there was such is the mess he has made of his PMship. I loved this comment in another article and I quote: “it’s nearly unimaginable how the Coalition chooses to replay that old self-destructive record. In Bill Shorten’s office, they’ve been digging out the 2009 headlines, such as “Battered Turnbull faces mutiny” and “Abbott leaves leader in crisis”.
    NEG he may have but doubt any of the voters are remotely in tune with anything Turnbull says or does Mr. Insider.
    Shorten steams towards the Lodge, as much as that leaves a big lump in my throat – more Jim Beam required!

  • Dwight says:

    Well, Mal has started the back flipping, but the offered alternative is worse than the original. Not sure he’s capable of learning.

  • smoke says:

    #libspill #murdermal

    All rise to welcome our new prime minister Bill Shorten

    • Bella says:

      Why not smoke? Beats the threat of five more minutes of the Fibs corruption & social destruction hands down.

      • JackSprat says:

        Yeah but he is like Turnbull – believes in nothing.
        Is first thought when he walks into the lodge will be ” What the (*&(*& am I going to now?_”

        • Bella says:

          Maybe JS but at this point I’m saying, why the hell not Shorten?
          Turdball’s backing his millionaires & most of us are not okay with that.
          Turdball’s backing new coal but not clean renewable energy, wants us to pay for Gina’s railway & most of us are not okay with that.
          Turdball loathes unions because his millionaires want us all on casual minimum wages with no annual leave, no penalty rates, no holiday pay, no sick leave & definitely no long service leave but most Australians are not okay with that.

          In light of the above, I’ll take Shorten and his union background any day of the week.
          Most of us will absolutely be okay with that.

  • Bella says:

    Wow, I didn’t enter but only two won the jackpot!
    The dividends should be much fairer all round, I’ve always said.
    Who wouldn’t be happy with ‘even’ one million? Life-changing.

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      Yes, Bella a chap in his 20’s in Victoria who took a last minute entry and someone yet to be found in Sydney. Your humble correspondent gave it a thrashing but came up empty. “Such is Life”. Cheers

    • Trivalve says:

      Socialist lotto? 🙂 Who’d enter?

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