Humble servant of the Nation

A reminder of Labor’s history of stuffing up golden situations

SHARE
, / 65757 1,429

The final sitting day in the parliament yesterday provided a timely reminder that Labor has a long and illustrious history of finding itself in golden situations only to totally stuff them up.

Forget the next three years, Bill Shorten and Labor could turn the dumpster fire that is Canberra at present into an inferno that could engulf it and everyone in the general vicinity in less than 12 weeks.

In other, brighter circumstances it might be the kind of efficient service delivery the punters expect from government.

Presuming Shorten and Labor win the next election (and that requires a sizeable leap of faith if not logic after yesterday’s shenanigans), one can only speculate what disasters will come its way in government. My best guess is Shorten will do a Nick Greiner, establish a federal anti-corruption commission only to find multiple members of his cabinet and ultimately himself, ensnared in it, providing an alternative meaning to the term “conviction politicians”.

In what stands as an extraordinary political achievement, Labor managed to disappoint everyone across the political spectrum yesterday — people who vote Labor, people who don’t and people who were thinking of voting Labor but now probably won’t.

It was as if the tactics committee met, handed Shorten a ball-peen hammer and told him to belt himself over the head with it, on the basis that it would feel better when he stopped.

The telecommunications access and assistance bill became law yesterday, passing through the Senate 44 votes to 12, after being waved through the House with bipartisan support.

It is, of course, a bill of the government’s making. It is a disaster, created by legal minds with little or no apparent expertise in technology. The problems with it are numerous but the biggest lies in the fact the law would require technology companies to target a single device or small number of devices, but only in a way that does not introduce a “systemic weakness” that impacts all users.

The techs I have spoken to say this is all but impossible and may lead to tech companies feeling obliged to leave the country rather than run afoul of this putrescent law. One of our most prolific and profitable industry sectors may leave our shores in droves. Well done, everyone. Throw another log on the dumpster fire.

The other major problem with the bill is it is yet another intrusion into the privacy of the citizenry. Predictably the response from the government and the opposition is of the tedious, “if you done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about” kind.

Labor’s favourite urger on Twitter, member for Gellibrand, Tim Watts, lectured a clearly unnerved Twitterdom on Tuesday night in an effort to bring some calm. “Wait and see our amendments,” the young MP promised. In the end Labor dropped its amendments altogether and waved the bill through.

It is a dreadful piece of law and by Labor’s own admission will need to be amended early next year, leading to the obvious question, and one that remains unanswered, why wave it through the lower house at all?

Timidity and cowardice

The old maxim that any day when the political debate turns to border security is a bad day for Labor seems to have Bill Shorten and his front bench spooked.

Labor is everywhere and nowhere on this issue. Jelly nailed to a wall.

Timidity and political cowardice are never far away with this mob.

The day started with Prime Minister Morrison facing a humiliating defeat in the parliament, with Labor and the Greens supporting a crossbench bill which would leave the decision on refugee repatriation to Australia entirely in the hands of those with medical expertise. Instead it was Shorten and Labor who were left pink-faced in embarrassment as the bill was filibustered to within an inch of its life in the Senate.

Everything Labor sought to achieve did not happen and everything it did not want to happen came to pass.

News reports today indicating Labor has softened its policy stance on refugee policy lends strength to the prevailing view that Labor is soft on border control while Shorten et al have simultaneously upset Labor voters who were hoping for a more humane policy response.

Faced with the prospect of multiple triumphs in the parliament in the morning session, all Shorten could do was lament the scoreboard at the end of the day. Win-win had become lose-lose.

As the House adjourned for the Christmas break, it was difficult to determine who felt more relieved — Scott Morrison or Bill Shorten. The only good news for both men is the parliament will sit so rarely in the New Year, they may as well call in the caterers and hire out both chambers for weddings, parties, anything. Maybe a funeral or two.

The focus in recent times has naturally been on the Morrison government and its travails. There appears to be no way out for the government, that is until we pause and turn our gaze to Bill Shorten and the Labor opposition.

And when we do, we are drawn to the conclusion that it would be madness to underestimate Labor’s capacity for political self-harm.

This column was first published in The Australian on 7 December 2018.

1,429 Comments

  • Milton says:

    For a bit of closure, distance and a fresh start, as of new year’s day the Nationals should replace McCormack with Barnaby and revert to being called the Country Party.
    I don’t know the reasons given by Broad (From Hong Kong with Love) for his resignation but his cringe worthy efforts at online seduction, or is it grooming, are sufficient enough for mine.
    And it is of some concern that the New Idea is getting scoops in investigative journalism. I’ll have to renew my subscription.

  • Boadicea says:

    Um, one would have to say that the National Party will have to come up with some slogan other than ”Family Values”

  • The Outsider says:

    Broadly speaking, the privates exploits of the ‘upstanding Member’ for Mallee are no one’s business but his own. However, he may may have inadvertently stumbled on a new meaning for the term “Mallee root”. Both meanings cater to creating an incendiary situation.

    Still, it’s good to know that the Coalition remains a Broad church of ideas.

    What’s mysterious in this latest imbroglio is the police referral of “Hong Kong Rose”. Is she supposed to be a modern day subverter of Western values? If hypocrisy is the value she’s targeting, I have sympathy.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Tops. 5 Gold stars

    • JackSprat says:

      I agree
      This obsession with the sex lives of politicians and the faux outrage is getting to the stupid stage.
      If it is between two consenting adults, it is nobody else’s business.
      Nobody in their right minds would go into politics and it has been pretty obvious for years that the quality has suffered.
      I am pretty sure that, if the sex lives of all the moralizing commentators were revealed and they had to resign when the discretions were revealed, there would not be many left.

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Faux outrage! Damn your impertinence, there is nothing faux about my outrage, and further if you are a politician and you are into a bit of hanky panky you should declare before or during tenure as it occurs, because it is everybodys business. These jokers who claim to be of one ilk and are found to be of another cannot possibly be trusted.
        I am concerned that you believe the “moralizing commentators” “discretions” may be cause for them to have to resign. Could you furnish an example? I consider myself to be of impeccable morals and always keen to adjust if I sense I am falling short of acceptable standards.

        • Mack the Knife says:

          Yairs, I was thinking there was a surfeit of testosterone in the country members, but then again, it seems to be rife all over, in all parties to politics. Billy the Bounder Shorten being one member that comes to mind, historically speaking that is. On that historical note, there have been too many swordsmen, cads & scallywags to count in the business of politics over the years. At the end of the day though, it really is nobody’s business, unless it interferes with the nation’s business. Thank goodness there aren’t too many Mata Hari’s around theses days.

      • Razor says:

        I think that’s why both sides play it hard and straight on these matters JB & JS. I consider some members have been very hard pressed over the years. You do see the odd old cock whilst navel gazing suddenly come over all hot but these often don’t have the balls to take it up with the end result the whole parliament is left in a sticky situation. More rumour and innuendo, not really in or out. Personally I’d like to see a more rigid policy adopted by both sides of the house to ensure unparliamentary shenanigans are rooted out. These people using tax payer funds to open the back door to immorality sticks in the throat of the average taxpayer. I know many a politician of both sexes who, over the years, have grabbed fortune by the foreskin in their efforts to put this all to bed. I believe the alleged habits of the late Sir John Gorton and for that matter Jim Cairns constitute seminal examples of what to this day remains a canker on those upstanding members whose only wish is to pump away at the treasury benches to make this society a better place.

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    I wonder if that Cupboard Boy Assange is an Anarchist, Mr. Insider, he sure fits the “profile” of being an “intellectual” as Mr. Baptiste has advised those coves are.
    Strewth now let’s see running from the Law, holed up in a bedroom for 5 years, yes he is “smart”.
    No wonder we don’t have any Anarchists here in beautiful QLD the Smart State.

    • Milton says:

      I went to a meeting of our local Anarchist’s chapter, Henry and it was a riot (literally). And I think the word dear Jean was struggling for is ineffectual.

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Pants on fire Milton. There are no intellectuals in your area least of all you, ergo no Anarchists Chapter.
        Obviously you don’t know anything about anarchists, they are always progressive, intellectual and have outstanding empathy for humanity. A world away from conservatives.

        • Milton says:

          Geez I bet your chapter didn’t realise how badly you’d take their rejection, Jean. Never mind son, they’re hardly intellectuals as they don’t understand basic human nature (then again?!). But since you’ve always wanted to be an anarchist when you grow up, I reckon you should join the Nationals. They are effectively leaderless, unleadable and unlikely to wield any power. And besides, I reckon you’re a 50/50 chance of passing their test and minimum IQ requirements.

          • Jean Baptiste says:

            They understand your “human nature” Milton.
            You don’t seem to know anything much.

            • Milton says:

              ‘Human nature’ is an over-arching or generic type thang, Jean. It pretty much lumps all of us, even lumpenproletariat’s such as yourself, all together.
              So the anarchists didn’t think you were smart enough Jean, big deal, so what, build a bridge and move on son. Have you heard back from the Nats yet? Let us know if you need a reference as I’ve got a generic one laying around somewhere.

              • Jean Baptiste says:

                Way too simplistic Milton, but your level.
                Advanced humans have empathy and see the advantage in co-operation as a group for the benefit of the whole.
                Lost you already? Don’t worry about.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      You are a dill Henry, but you’re cute.

  • Milton says:

    Aussies causing carnage on what has been an enigmatic wicket. Lyon getting the money shot in dismissing Stop Kohli.
    And since Peter Fitzsimmons had the cojones to predict Abbott losing his seat at the next election, I’m predicting this to be all over well before lunch tomorrow and that Gary will get at least 10 for the match.

  • Milton says:

    A Broad abroad with a broad.

  • Jean Baptiste says:

    Dear Henry Blofeld Esq,

    You might find this image of Bill Shorten in a compromising situation interesting.

    https://seashepherd.org/2015/09/29/if-the-ocean-dies-we-all-die/

  • jack says:

    the aussies looked thirty runs short in both digs

    • Jack The Insider says:

      Look like about 100 too many now. Nathan Lyon is our new god.

      • Perentie says:

        He’s been a god for some years now. All hail the GOAT.

        Loved his interview after day 3 when he has asked whether retired hurt Aaron Finch would be able to bat again with his injured finger – I’m not a doctor or a physio, I bowl offies.”

Leave A Reply to Boadicea Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published.

PASSWORD RESET

LOG IN