Humble servant of the Nation

A reminder of Labor’s history of stuffing up golden situations

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The final sitting day in the parliament yesterday provided a timely reminder that Labor has a long and illustrious history of finding itself in golden situations only to totally stuff them up.

Forget the next three years, Bill Shorten and Labor could turn the dumpster fire that is Canberra at present into an inferno that could engulf it and everyone in the general vicinity in less than 12 weeks.

In other, brighter circumstances it might be the kind of efficient service delivery the punters expect from government.

Presuming Shorten and Labor win the next election (and that requires a sizeable leap of faith if not logic after yesterday’s shenanigans), one can only speculate what disasters will come its way in government. My best guess is Shorten will do a Nick Greiner, establish a federal anti-corruption commission only to find multiple members of his cabinet and ultimately himself, ensnared in it, providing an alternative meaning to the term “conviction politicians”.

In what stands as an extraordinary political achievement, Labor managed to disappoint everyone across the political spectrum yesterday — people who vote Labor, people who don’t and people who were thinking of voting Labor but now probably won’t.

It was as if the tactics committee met, handed Shorten a ball-peen hammer and told him to belt himself over the head with it, on the basis that it would feel better when he stopped.

The telecommunications access and assistance bill became law yesterday, passing through the Senate 44 votes to 12, after being waved through the House with bipartisan support.

It is, of course, a bill of the government’s making. It is a disaster, created by legal minds with little or no apparent expertise in technology. The problems with it are numerous but the biggest lies in the fact the law would require technology companies to target a single device or small number of devices, but only in a way that does not introduce a “systemic weakness” that impacts all users.

The techs I have spoken to say this is all but impossible and may lead to tech companies feeling obliged to leave the country rather than run afoul of this putrescent law. One of our most prolific and profitable industry sectors may leave our shores in droves. Well done, everyone. Throw another log on the dumpster fire.

The other major problem with the bill is it is yet another intrusion into the privacy of the citizenry. Predictably the response from the government and the opposition is of the tedious, “if you done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about” kind.

Labor’s favourite urger on Twitter, member for Gellibrand, Tim Watts, lectured a clearly unnerved Twitterdom on Tuesday night in an effort to bring some calm. “Wait and see our amendments,” the young MP promised. In the end Labor dropped its amendments altogether and waved the bill through.

It is a dreadful piece of law and by Labor’s own admission will need to be amended early next year, leading to the obvious question, and one that remains unanswered, why wave it through the lower house at all?

Timidity and cowardice

The old maxim that any day when the political debate turns to border security is a bad day for Labor seems to have Bill Shorten and his front bench spooked.

Labor is everywhere and nowhere on this issue. Jelly nailed to a wall.

Timidity and political cowardice are never far away with this mob.

The day started with Prime Minister Morrison facing a humiliating defeat in the parliament, with Labor and the Greens supporting a crossbench bill which would leave the decision on refugee repatriation to Australia entirely in the hands of those with medical expertise. Instead it was Shorten and Labor who were left pink-faced in embarrassment as the bill was filibustered to within an inch of its life in the Senate.

Everything Labor sought to achieve did not happen and everything it did not want to happen came to pass.

News reports today indicating Labor has softened its policy stance on refugee policy lends strength to the prevailing view that Labor is soft on border control while Shorten et al have simultaneously upset Labor voters who were hoping for a more humane policy response.

Faced with the prospect of multiple triumphs in the parliament in the morning session, all Shorten could do was lament the scoreboard at the end of the day. Win-win had become lose-lose.

As the House adjourned for the Christmas break, it was difficult to determine who felt more relieved — Scott Morrison or Bill Shorten. The only good news for both men is the parliament will sit so rarely in the New Year, they may as well call in the caterers and hire out both chambers for weddings, parties, anything. Maybe a funeral or two.

The focus in recent times has naturally been on the Morrison government and its travails. There appears to be no way out for the government, that is until we pause and turn our gaze to Bill Shorten and the Labor opposition.

And when we do, we are drawn to the conclusion that it would be madness to underestimate Labor’s capacity for political self-harm.

This column was first published in The Australian on 7 December 2018.

1,429 Comments

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    Good grief, there is life in the old Apple Isle yet as we see Tasmanian Mini Maxi “Alive” has won the Sydney to Hobart yacht race on Handicap, becoming the first Tasmanian boat to do so in 39 years.
    I think I just heard Abel Janszoon Tasman roll over in his grave.
    https://tinyurl.com/ybjtndt5

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      For those saying that Wild Oats X1 had her AIS Tracker turned off, sorry but every time I checked the CYC Yacht Tracker Website there she was.
      An International Jury quickly found no case to answer. Cheers

    • Boadicea says:

      🎉🎉🎉🍾🍾🍾😁
      Had NY one of the yachts last night Henry.
      Not Tasmanians – and they came stone last due to serious issues with a sail in unpredictable winds on the way. Going up the mast in stuff like that is very scary. But they did not retire and persevered in the true spirit of the race.
      But they won a magnum of champagne for that honour which we enjoyed!!!

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    “Malcolm had a plan to become Prime Minister but no plan to be Prime Minister,” says our Home Affairs Minister, Peter Dutton, Mr Insider.
    Peters seat here in QLD is on a knife edge so he too may be out of Politics come late May.
    In the meantime, P. Dutton puts the “slipper” into Turnbull’s “coight” in a cruel, bruising interview.
    The ghost of Turnbull must be quickly erased b4 the Electioneering begins.
    https://tinyurl.com/y95m5vts

    • Bella says:

      Are the Fibs STILL talking about themselves?
      The majority of Australians have made up their minds on these twits & tuned out so anything they say now is falling on deaf ears.
      March sounds like a super time to take out all the rubbish doncha think?

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      You have to see the funny side of that! Heres a bloke , Dumb Dutts, who had a plan to become Prime Minister, and failed, expecting us to believe in his plan to “be” a Prime Minister, bagging Malcolm Turnbull.
      The “dud spud” is too precious to vote out of his seat, Australia needs this level of dark lumpen humour, especially that tantalising scenario we dream for when the Big Potato goes after Sco Mo!
      Let the good times roll!

  • Milton says:

    Of African appearance is up there with being as vague as being of Australian, Asian, European or South American appearance. David Gulpilil and Penny Wong are both Australian, surely they of Australian appearance? Yes and no. Moroccans don’t look like Sudanese, Chinese don’t look like Japanese and the Italians don’t look like the Dutch. But we is all God’s children and identifying our appearance is not a crime when a crime is committed. Harden up. Since when have we or the press and govt’s, amongst others, been afraid of facts? Do we prefer to rely on random (or not so), miniscule polls, or man made computer “modelling” ??

    • Carl on the Coast says:

      Are we still permitted to use “colourful racing identity” these days?

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      So, we should be saying that young African men ought to be described as, “of Australian appearance?” Or should we be saying things like “David Gulpilil , an aboriginal of Australian appearance” or vice versa?
      Ok, I have no idea what you are on about, but I do know why.
      And of course you are not afraid of facts Milton. Why would you be? You keep such a vast distance between yourself and “facts” there couldn’t possibly be any danger to you.

      • Milton says:

        Whilst you dispute widely accepted facts and store a zealot like faith in fortune tellers.
        And my point was that generic descriptors are essentially vague. I’ll type slower next time.

        • Jean Baptiste says:

          Yes, you believe in specific descriptors, for unfortunate political reasons. I get that.
          So widely accepted “facts” are therefore true? Milton you live in a world populated by nice faeries. Again, are you brave enough to debate me?

          • Milton says:

            You’ve met all my fab friends then?
            Please attach a link for a scientific, peer reviewed article, or any other worthy/weighty matter, proving that the moon landing did not occur, or is/was physically impossible to achieve, to kick things off, Jean.

            • Jean Baptiste says:

              Do you know what a debate is?

              Anyhow, as requested , here you go thicko.
              http://centerforaninformedamerica.com/moondoggie/

              • Milton says:

                hahaha roflmao, very good, Jean. I knew you were having a loan.
                I think you may want ease up on the debating though Jean. Set yourself a limit.

                • Jean Baptiste says:

                  Are you debating or not girly man?

                  • Milton says:

                    You haven’t provided any reliable scientific information outlining the impossibility of a moon landing. The link you provided is written by a nutter who sees conspiracies everywhere, most connected to Charles Manson. And did you know that Jim Morrison died at 27, the same age as Jimi Hendrix!!! And both had links to the military!!! Breathtaking. And he writes about Boston Marathon, 9/11 etc etc Yawn.
                    U must try harder, Jean.

                • Razor says:

                  He likes debating with a lot of people Milt. JB is a huge mass debater.

      • Carl on the Coast says:

        Nah, too complicated. Stick to the widely used Phoenix code population base. Easy for those who can count up to six and are not colour blind.

      • Mack the Knife says:

        Why should they be described at all JB? That should be the argument. Journalists should just write that a group of young men did such & such, a line like “young men of African appearance” is just bullshit and should be called out for what it is.

        No wonder “believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see” is a good policy.

        • Jean Baptiste says:

          I’m with you there Mack.

        • Penny says:

          Agree with you totally Mac……HNY

          • Razor says:

            I used to agree with this also Penny and MTK but found the media descriptors can be very good as a result of the law of unintended consequences. Governments oil the squeaky wheel to save votes. I found, contrary to what the mainstream media intended, when pressure of this type is brought to bear all of a sudden there is money available for social projects, including youth services and housing, which mysteriously wasn’t there before! The haters are always gonna hate but if their hate brings worthwhile yet unintended results then bring it on I say.

            For public policy makers the media is just another tool in the shed.

  • Milton says:

    I read 2019 will be a busy year for moon landings. China, India and Israel will be making touchdown and I’m sure a joke is in there somewhere.

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      Fire up the old Anarchists then Milton. How many is there in Australia at last count, 3 we said didn’t we? LOL yes, all the Technical Data for the earlier NASA Moon Landings are available but “some” haven’t the time or the brains to peruse same. Cheers

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Hoho. Technical data! The moon is a s dry as a chip. Well okay, it was in 1969, it must have rained. Had a laugh about this yesterday Henery Donald, would love to see a vid of those guys changing the film in the cameras on the moon! Someone worked it out, they took a perfectly framed photo every ten seconds! How about a picture of Planet Earth? Ooops, now that was an oversight.
        Come on Henery, lift yer game son, make 2019 your year. Imagine how many posts you could make if you were fully conscious! Okay, semi conscious then?

      • Milton says:

        Less than 3 on pension day, Henry.
        And we’ll have to be quick if we want to grab a stake in Moon real estate mate. I’m getting my moon shaped friend Clive to organise some exploratory searches for natural resources up there so we can clean up and be over the moon!

    • Dwight says:

      Don’t tell JB, you’ll trigger him.

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Too late. Thanks for try. Fell off my bloody chair laughing again, and I’m too old for that! How bloody obvious does it have be!

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Yep. First landings were made in 1966. Given advances in tech and efficiency there can be no excuses for any of those countries not making manned moon landings three years from now!

      That was your joke BTW.

  • Milton says:

    Loved the way Wolves played this morning. They seem well drilled and fearless.

  • BASSMAN says:

    Well I know someone who tonned up today…the bride’s grandfather hit 100 not out today…Happy Birthday!

  • Boadicea says:

    Razor, Wissy:
    Just back home after a great week on Straddie. Perfect weather – not too hot and humid. It is a lovely spot.
    Things humming here. Some impressive yachts hanging around.
    I think Wild Oats 11 cheated. IMO they turned off their AIS in case they caught a beneficial breeze they needed to keep secret. Win at all costs is not pretty. The rules are the rules – and they broke them.

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      International Jury has ruled that Wild Oats X1 has kept its Line Honours. Alls well that ends well Boadicea. Cheers

    • Bella says:

      Who do they have onside that’s let them get away with it Boa?
      Cheating is the name of the game these days. Puts me right off sport.
      Straddie’s sublime any time of the year but I avoid it like the plague in school holidays & long weekends. We used to call it ‘The Invasion’. 😮

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      The law in it’s majesty allows neither King’s nor paupers to sleep under bridges.

      If some low budget cowboy in a hot rod skiff had pulled that stunt and fluked a dream run they’d have been disqualified and excommunicated.

    • Razor says:

      Great hear you had a good time Boa. You certainly nailed the weather! It’s been beautiful here at Chez Razor.

  • stuartsurridge says:

    cummins opening the batting next test?

  • Milton says:

    The other night I got to 28 in fading light, chasing 31 for the chocolates. Caught behind, in close down leg side by the missus, bowled by the junior Milton. Should have gone for the 6 and out a bit earlier but I was getting a few easy one’s and two’s down leg thanks to the compost and a busy May bush.

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    Sad news here, Mr. Insider as we see former Prime Minister Bob Hawke says his health has been “terrible”, hinting he may not be around to see whether Labor wins the next election expected by May.
    Bob is now 89yo.
    https://tinyurl.com/yd8uf3yr

    • Bella says:

      I don’t think the great Bob Hawke appear to be well at all sadly, but the man can still sing a little Waltzing Matilda. 💙
      When I do get to the WFF I stay a night cos the music is sublime but this year we had the added good fortune of listening to Anthony Albanese speak on social justice & equality. I loved his easy interactions with everybody including the Stop Adani activists at the front of the stage (who were loudly cheered) but COME ON Labor, that fence you’ve been sitting on re the Adani scam is about to break so get the * off it.

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