Humble servant of the Nation

A reminder of Labor’s history of stuffing up golden situations

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The final sitting day in the parliament yesterday provided a timely reminder that Labor has a long and illustrious history of finding itself in golden situations only to totally stuff them up.

Forget the next three years, Bill Shorten and Labor could turn the dumpster fire that is Canberra at present into an inferno that could engulf it and everyone in the general vicinity in less than 12 weeks.

In other, brighter circumstances it might be the kind of efficient service delivery the punters expect from government.

Presuming Shorten and Labor win the next election (and that requires a sizeable leap of faith if not logic after yesterday’s shenanigans), one can only speculate what disasters will come its way in government. My best guess is Shorten will do a Nick Greiner, establish a federal anti-corruption commission only to find multiple members of his cabinet and ultimately himself, ensnared in it, providing an alternative meaning to the term “conviction politicians”.

In what stands as an extraordinary political achievement, Labor managed to disappoint everyone across the political spectrum yesterday — people who vote Labor, people who don’t and people who were thinking of voting Labor but now probably won’t.

It was as if the tactics committee met, handed Shorten a ball-peen hammer and told him to belt himself over the head with it, on the basis that it would feel better when he stopped.

The telecommunications access and assistance bill became law yesterday, passing through the Senate 44 votes to 12, after being waved through the House with bipartisan support.

It is, of course, a bill of the government’s making. It is a disaster, created by legal minds with little or no apparent expertise in technology. The problems with it are numerous but the biggest lies in the fact the law would require technology companies to target a single device or small number of devices, but only in a way that does not introduce a “systemic weakness” that impacts all users.

The techs I have spoken to say this is all but impossible and may lead to tech companies feeling obliged to leave the country rather than run afoul of this putrescent law. One of our most prolific and profitable industry sectors may leave our shores in droves. Well done, everyone. Throw another log on the dumpster fire.

The other major problem with the bill is it is yet another intrusion into the privacy of the citizenry. Predictably the response from the government and the opposition is of the tedious, “if you done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about” kind.

Labor’s favourite urger on Twitter, member for Gellibrand, Tim Watts, lectured a clearly unnerved Twitterdom on Tuesday night in an effort to bring some calm. “Wait and see our amendments,” the young MP promised. In the end Labor dropped its amendments altogether and waved the bill through.

It is a dreadful piece of law and by Labor’s own admission will need to be amended early next year, leading to the obvious question, and one that remains unanswered, why wave it through the lower house at all?

Timidity and cowardice

The old maxim that any day when the political debate turns to border security is a bad day for Labor seems to have Bill Shorten and his front bench spooked.

Labor is everywhere and nowhere on this issue. Jelly nailed to a wall.

Timidity and political cowardice are never far away with this mob.

The day started with Prime Minister Morrison facing a humiliating defeat in the parliament, with Labor and the Greens supporting a crossbench bill which would leave the decision on refugee repatriation to Australia entirely in the hands of those with medical expertise. Instead it was Shorten and Labor who were left pink-faced in embarrassment as the bill was filibustered to within an inch of its life in the Senate.

Everything Labor sought to achieve did not happen and everything it did not want to happen came to pass.

News reports today indicating Labor has softened its policy stance on refugee policy lends strength to the prevailing view that Labor is soft on border control while Shorten et al have simultaneously upset Labor voters who were hoping for a more humane policy response.

Faced with the prospect of multiple triumphs in the parliament in the morning session, all Shorten could do was lament the scoreboard at the end of the day. Win-win had become lose-lose.

As the House adjourned for the Christmas break, it was difficult to determine who felt more relieved — Scott Morrison or Bill Shorten. The only good news for both men is the parliament will sit so rarely in the New Year, they may as well call in the caterers and hire out both chambers for weddings, parties, anything. Maybe a funeral or two.

The focus in recent times has naturally been on the Morrison government and its travails. There appears to be no way out for the government, that is until we pause and turn our gaze to Bill Shorten and the Labor opposition.

And when we do, we are drawn to the conclusion that it would be madness to underestimate Labor’s capacity for political self-harm.

This column was first published in The Australian on 7 December 2018.

1,429 Comments

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    How impressive is Labor Senator Kimberley Kitching when she appears on that class TV Show the “Bolt Report” on Sky, Mr. Insider. She holds her own with ease and treated with great respect by Andrew, as he treats all his guests.
    P.S. we are still waiting for Bill Shorten to take up Andrews invite to appear.
    https://www.aph.gov.au/Senators_and_Members/Parliamentarian?MPID=247512

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      *Update* Bill Shorten will appear on the “Bolt Report” tomorrow night (Wednesday 12th) and Andrew has a special gift for him a superb bottle of Whiskey.

    • Trivalve says:

      I enjoyed Kimberley Kitching’s handling of the fake hawk scandal in Senate estimates a while back. She seems to have some style about her. Andrew Bolt on the other hand, where do I start? Anyhow, you’re clearly fishing Nossy.

      • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

        Absolutely not Trivy I have been a devotee of Andrew for a long time and when he asks someone onto his Show they invariably present well as does Kimberley. Cheers laddy

  • Tracy says:

    Well there you go, internet download currently 11.4Mbps.
    Amaysim are no longer servicing the NBN and passed us on to another company, we in turn decided to go elsewhere (Vodaphone) where we could get a wireless back-up should we lose internet.
    Been with them since Friday, and we are onto our second degradation of service😳 guess the 3G is working though

    • JackSprat says:

      geez, I have been getting 16Mbps out of Optus Cable for the last 20 years.
      Curious as to what you signed up for.
      How’s the ferret ( cannot remember his name)

      • Tracy says:

        Frankie has an appointment with the vet, need more meds for him and to generally get him checked out.
        We were with Optus on the cable until they pulled the plug with NBN being installed, had been averaging about 75Mbps on (when it was working), it would go down two or three times a week and at one point three days. Amaysim had obviously had enough so they no longer supply NBN and Vodaphone offered the 3G backup.
        Been on this for two days, currently plugging along at 9.08 but if all four of us are trying to use our various devices at the same time you can forget that.
        No contact from either Vodafone or the NBN, we are still in the backout period with the former but where do you go? cable may have been slow but at least it was reliable.

        • JackSprat says:

          We are due to get the NBN early next year – I am starting to dread it.
          We are currently with Optus and are getting fibre to the kerb ( although NBN calls it to the curb which may be prophetic)
          I am playing around with going with Telstra but changing e-mail addresses that have been in place for over 20 years is not going to be pretty

    • Boadicea says:

      Why not Telstra, Tracy? I’ve been with them for about 100 years and never had a problem.

    • Perentie says:

      If you have trouble with Vodafone you can always contact their customer service people. Alternatively, you could pull your head off. The latter is probably less painful.

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Yairs Perentie, I can only surmise Vodaphone have offered a special discount for ferret fans. They charge “The Australian Masochist Society” a premium of 200%.

      • Bella says:

        So right. 😂😂😂😂

      • Tracy says:

        Pulling my head off would at least get some results🤪

        • Milton says:

          I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t produce any results Tracy, but have a go and get back to us.
          btw Chelsea help Liverpool get to number 1 and not a word of thanks!
          and I bet your vet thinks xmas has come early. No doubt Frankie will receive a gift from the clinic shortly, but for a ferret the stocking is the present!

          • Tracy says:

            He’s doing well Milt, gorgeous lad.
            Lost my little old lady ferret Honey this morning (8) she was a feisty little girl, thought the last trip to the vet was kinder.
            Never gets easier☹️

        • Razor says:

          Dismayed tried it many times as a young buck Tracy and it sent him blind…..

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    Goodness me, Mr. Insider will that flakey Federal Energy Minister, Angus Taylor ever give a straight answer to ANY question he is being asked when Interviewed.
    Leigh Sales and Elysse Morgan, two very astute Presenters for the ABC, were unable to get anything worthwhile out of this “Vege”.
    Methinks sweet Angus either doesn’t know what he is talking about or is afraid of saying something his Right Wing Masters may well object too. Either way a waste of Oxygen imho

  • JackSprat says:

    I see Albo and Tanya have had a Road To Damascus moment and have suddenly been converted to boat turn backs and off shore processing.
    Just confirmation that the Left, despite their taking the supposed moral high ground on all issues, have no qualms about ditching them for the time being and for election purposes.
    I wonder how long this conversion will last?

    • Boadicea says:

      Yep. Wait till the Adani issue gets ugly. The fence will sag under the weight of those sitting on it.
      I enjoy Hamish MacDonald on RN when Fran is on holiday. He asks the hard questions relentlessly and has them ducking and diving to Olympic standard.

    • Dwight says:

      24 hours after putting their posteriors on the Treasury benches.

    • Not Finished Yet says:

      Surely you know the wonderful Groucho Marx line. ‘These are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.’

      • Mack the Knife says:

        I like his take on politics, “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”
        Oz politics 101.

  • Jean Baptiste says:

    Oh Henry don’t hide your light under a bushel, ignore the policies that’s just window dressing, but if ever there was a political party made for you, or you for it, this is it.

    https://www.loonyparty.com/2017-general-election-manicfesto/

  • Dismayed says:

    morrison is as good a PM as howard was a bowler. Howards bowling personifies the cons. National Shame.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eacVawCbXAY

  • Not Finished Yet says:

    I have been musing on our use of the English language in relation to the Mueller enquiry and the tweets of Trump, in particular the phrase ‘witch hunt’. Am I correct in thinking that a witch hunt is only a witch hunt if no witches are found? Surely, if a witch is found it is no longer a witch hunt. So, the only successful witch hunt is one that fails, because if it succeeds, it is not a witch hunt. Please feel free to shred my logic.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Shred your logic? OK, bring it in on your next visit, and a sample of your urine.

      • Milton says:

        Are you taking the piss again, Jean?

        • Jean Baptiste says:

          True Story. My Gran went to see the doctor, front teeth knocked out and two black eyes.
          “What happened to you!”
          “Your fault Doc, remember you asked me to bring in a specimen? I didn’t know what you meant so I asked that b*&*%$ next door. She said “p*&%#” in a bottle you idiot. And I said
          “and you can you can s*%t in your handbag you s*&%” , and it went on from there.”

          Give ’em heaps, it’s the festive season.

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    Fabulous Space News from NASA, Mr. Insider as we see Voyager 2 has moved beyond the protective bubble of particles and magnetic fields created by the Sun known as the heliosphere.
    Voyager 2 was launched by NASA, the Manned Moon landings people, way back in 1977, some 41 years ago. ELVIS was still in the building” – just.
    Reading this article I am learning of something called the “Oort Cloud”. The Oort Cloud starts around 150 billion kilometres from the Sun and extends out to about 30 trillion kilometres.
    Strewth, so much to learn before one blasts off to the Heavens.
    https://tinyurl.com/yb6nktr7

  • Boadicea says:

    Interesting comment in the Oz: “Did Facebook build the French riots?
    Given that there seems no “leader” it’s a reasonable question – and quite worrying.

    • Dismayed says:

      More likely right wing groups funded by the Koch brothers.

    • letthemeatcake says:

      macron built that strife

    • Milton says:

      too much beurre, vin rouge and gitane’s will always excite a crowd, Boa. I love the French mate but they are suckled to the teat.

      • Boadicea says:

        Macron is trying to move things along from the days of the French revolution – but they’re not having a bar of it. The TGV strike earlier this year was a challenge. I think he managed to introduce some reform there.
        However the yellow vesters have got some backdowns from him.
        Down here we may have to try the same to protect the wilderness from developers. ☹
        Vive la France!

  • Dismayed says:

    Hardly a word in the media about the furthering Police state of Australia dutton putting himself in a position to call out the troops onto the streets in Australia. This is a dangerous government supported by dangerous ideological zealots living off the taxpayer. the “Defence Amendment (Call Out of the Australian Defence Force) Act 2018.”

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