Humble servant of the Nation

A reminder of Labor’s history of stuffing up golden situations

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The final sitting day in the parliament yesterday provided a timely reminder that Labor has a long and illustrious history of finding itself in golden situations only to totally stuff them up.

Forget the next three years, Bill Shorten and Labor could turn the dumpster fire that is Canberra at present into an inferno that could engulf it and everyone in the general vicinity in less than 12 weeks.

In other, brighter circumstances it might be the kind of efficient service delivery the punters expect from government.

Presuming Shorten and Labor win the next election (and that requires a sizeable leap of faith if not logic after yesterday’s shenanigans), one can only speculate what disasters will come its way in government. My best guess is Shorten will do a Nick Greiner, establish a federal anti-corruption commission only to find multiple members of his cabinet and ultimately himself, ensnared in it, providing an alternative meaning to the term “conviction politicians”.

In what stands as an extraordinary political achievement, Labor managed to disappoint everyone across the political spectrum yesterday — people who vote Labor, people who don’t and people who were thinking of voting Labor but now probably won’t.

It was as if the tactics committee met, handed Shorten a ball-peen hammer and told him to belt himself over the head with it, on the basis that it would feel better when he stopped.

The telecommunications access and assistance bill became law yesterday, passing through the Senate 44 votes to 12, after being waved through the House with bipartisan support.

It is, of course, a bill of the government’s making. It is a disaster, created by legal minds with little or no apparent expertise in technology. The problems with it are numerous but the biggest lies in the fact the law would require technology companies to target a single device or small number of devices, but only in a way that does not introduce a “systemic weakness” that impacts all users.

The techs I have spoken to say this is all but impossible and may lead to tech companies feeling obliged to leave the country rather than run afoul of this putrescent law. One of our most prolific and profitable industry sectors may leave our shores in droves. Well done, everyone. Throw another log on the dumpster fire.

The other major problem with the bill is it is yet another intrusion into the privacy of the citizenry. Predictably the response from the government and the opposition is of the tedious, “if you done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about” kind.

Labor’s favourite urger on Twitter, member for Gellibrand, Tim Watts, lectured a clearly unnerved Twitterdom on Tuesday night in an effort to bring some calm. “Wait and see our amendments,” the young MP promised. In the end Labor dropped its amendments altogether and waved the bill through.

It is a dreadful piece of law and by Labor’s own admission will need to be amended early next year, leading to the obvious question, and one that remains unanswered, why wave it through the lower house at all?

Timidity and cowardice

The old maxim that any day when the political debate turns to border security is a bad day for Labor seems to have Bill Shorten and his front bench spooked.

Labor is everywhere and nowhere on this issue. Jelly nailed to a wall.

Timidity and political cowardice are never far away with this mob.

The day started with Prime Minister Morrison facing a humiliating defeat in the parliament, with Labor and the Greens supporting a crossbench bill which would leave the decision on refugee repatriation to Australia entirely in the hands of those with medical expertise. Instead it was Shorten and Labor who were left pink-faced in embarrassment as the bill was filibustered to within an inch of its life in the Senate.

Everything Labor sought to achieve did not happen and everything it did not want to happen came to pass.

News reports today indicating Labor has softened its policy stance on refugee policy lends strength to the prevailing view that Labor is soft on border control while Shorten et al have simultaneously upset Labor voters who were hoping for a more humane policy response.

Faced with the prospect of multiple triumphs in the parliament in the morning session, all Shorten could do was lament the scoreboard at the end of the day. Win-win had become lose-lose.

As the House adjourned for the Christmas break, it was difficult to determine who felt more relieved — Scott Morrison or Bill Shorten. The only good news for both men is the parliament will sit so rarely in the New Year, they may as well call in the caterers and hire out both chambers for weddings, parties, anything. Maybe a funeral or two.

The focus in recent times has naturally been on the Morrison government and its travails. There appears to be no way out for the government, that is until we pause and turn our gaze to Bill Shorten and the Labor opposition.

And when we do, we are drawn to the conclusion that it would be madness to underestimate Labor’s capacity for political self-harm.

This column was first published in The Australian on 7 December 2018.

1,429 Comments

  • BASSMAN says:

    My mate keeps telling me ‘Carbon Dioxide is not a greenhouse gas’. He won’t even believe the most respected, most referenced journal Scientific American which has been peer-reviewing since 1845. Who you gonna believe? Alan Jones, Bolt, John Laws or Scientific American?

    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-carbon-dioxide-is-greenhouse-gas/

    • The Nutty Professor says:

      A greenhouse gas (or GHG for short) is any gas in the atmosphere which absorbs and re-emits heat, and thereby keeps the planet’s atmosphere warmer than it otherwise would be. The main GHGs in the Earth’s atmosphere are water vapour, carbon dioxide (CO2), methane (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O) and ozone.

    • JackSprat says:

      I think the three that you mentioned will admit that CO2 is a green house gas – albeit not the worse one whicgh is wither water vapour or methane.
      What they disagree with is that it is causing Climate Change.
      Try this one on him
      https://climatekids.nasa.gov/greenhouse-effect/

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        So they are idiots then like BASSMANS friend.

        • JackSprat says:

          Probably – but in this day and age the other idiots in the world are likely to be offended by including them in their illustrious and widespread group.
          Everybody has their pride 🙂

  • Milton says:

    Excellent cricket from both sides. The wicket not conforming to predictions.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      The “wicket” is not doing anything much, apart from trying to grow a little grass. I’d say it is conforming quite well all things considered.

    • Trivalve says:

      Meanwhile, Dean Jones is cranky because he says it’s a pitch, not a wicket. I admit that it’s confusing but why he complains this late in the day has got me stumped.

  • BASSMAN says:

    22,000 homes have lost power in Sydney, with the Hills district particularly hard-hit, as driving rain and hail fall across the city. When this happened in South Australia the Liberals SCREAMED and made politics
    out of it. Every time wind takes down power in NSW NOT A WORD is spoken! Why?

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      The Complete STATE of SA lost Power for 24 hours BASSMAN, goodness me chappie you have slipped badly with your “factual” reporting. All hope appears lost for you fellow. Cheers

    • Tracy says:

      It was on the news Bassy, same as a week or so ago when bad weather did the same thing and I could have swum laps on Roseville bridge

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    A bit of a sad story here, Mr. Insider, as we read that the ex-Director of the Sydney Art Gallery, Edmund Capon now 78yo, is gravely ill and stuck in London unable to travel back to Australia.
    Edmund turned the Art gallery around during his tenure bringing so many outstanding Exhibitions to the People.
    I do remember we went to the Monet Exhibition many years ago and were lucky enough to have Edmund walk us all through the wonderful paintings.
    He always wore his trademark Pink Socks. Hang in there Edmund.
    https://tinyurl.com/yd3jmszk

  • Milton says:

    After a good hour the wickets fell quickly. This should get exciting. Yesterday it got harder to bat as the day progressed and I think they’re predicting the same today. Cummins has been very hand with the bat.

  • The Outsider says:

    Jack Sprat, do you have a control F5 trick to refresh pages for Android phones?

    Speaking of phones, I’m now in Santiago in Chile and my toilet has a phone next to the throne!

  • John O'Hagan says:

    Mark Humphies has found the culprit:

    httpss://twitter.com/markhumphries/status/1073158361745522688?s=19

  • BASSMAN says:

    Bella says:
    DECEMBER 13, 2018 AT 8:42 PM
    YOU SED:- “Bassy the Coalition don’t want a National ICAC’s findings of corruption or criminal behaviour to be made public. “…..WHY:-because The Looters don’t like the public-they don’t like ANYTHING public-Public schools, public healthcare, public transport, publicly owned electricity, the public broadcaster. Let’s be patently honest-the Liberals just don’t like the public and that is why they will be thrashed in May!

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    I say, Mr. Baptiste, these Anarchists chaps, of which you are one, do you have a Clubhouse where you meet regularly. What about a Motto or a Song? Are Women allowed to be part thereof?
    We don’t seem to have any here in QLD or your humble correspondent surely would have run across one by now. Cheers in hopeful Illumination

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      Bugger Mr. Baptiste did not take the “bait”, damn!

    • Dr. Smith says:

      I say Henri, Mr J. Baptiste esq is no more an anarchist than say, John Howard. He is a conformist of the highest order, an anarchist would never spruik the idea that Bill Shorten will be a good PM. Never, never, never. Oh, the pain.

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Dr Smith. Geez you must be boring. I couldn’t care less what sort of PM Bill will make, though relative to what we have in this ghastly system we are stuck in he will be a good one.
        But! I’m not going to miss an opportunity to stick it up these whiney conservatives who are starting to cack their daks over the possibility! They are beginning to get hilariously hysterical.
        You aint from around these parts are yer Dr Smith? You got a little catching up to do. An’ you don’t know squat about real anarchists boy. ‘part from yer book learning writ by damn fool academics.

        An you aint no Doctor neither.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Anarchists are generally intellectuals Henry so I doubt you will find any at all in Queensland. For more information consult Monsieur Google, there must be someone up there who can instruct you the on use thereof, a holiday maker from South of the Tweed perhaps.
      I am just returned from pleasant golfing sojourn with my bestie Kimmie, and a stop off in Australia’s Beirut, that is Melbourne, and a quick catch up with AA, Australian Anarchists Inc. I could tell you more about us but you would never get a good nights sleep again.
      The motto? You didn’t guess? No of course you didn’t it.

      “Whop it Up “Em, Make “Em Take It.”

  • Tracy says:

    JS, in hindsight I would say don’t sign up for NBN unless you have to but you may find Optus pulls the plug on you and you aren’t left with much choice.
    We are still without NBN, Vodaphone when called (again) said they still had not heard back from them. A complaint has been sent to the Ombudsman to add to the many others no doubt, can’t run a business on an iPhone hotspot.

    • JackSprat says:

      Got a letter from Optus saying as soon as the NBN is in they are pulling the plug.
      I think I will go Telstra as thvey just might have enough equipment to keep it running.

      • Razor says:

        April for us. I’m dreading it…….

      • Boadicea says:

        Their backup is good JS. As I said to Tracy I have never had a problem – and if I have had a technical question I have always got through to a real person quickly – who has been very helpful. I have had the NBN for 4 years or so (FTTP) and have not had a single service dropout. Not bad.

      • Tracy says:

        I wouldn’t hold my breath, husband had quite an “animated” conversation with a chap in (I presume) Mumbai asking how much we will be re-imbursed for no service. He had no idea we had no service.
        Let’s see, switched to Vodaphone 7/12……..went down for four hours on the Friday, that was big enough to make the SMH it was an east coast stuff up, all ok till 11/12 and nothing since except the back up 3G.
        Currently on my iPhone hotspot, a racy 15.5 upload and 0.34 download, who says Australia ain’t the lucky country😂

      • The Outsider says:

        I’ve been on Optus NBN for a few months, now. I get download speeds up to 35 Mbps and upload speeds up to 12 Mbps.

        My common download speed is around 25 Mbps, which is OK by me.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Fibre to the office here. Slicker than hot snot on a brass door knob.
      Come on, a big shout out to Mr Malcolm Turnbull from the rest of you.

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