Humble servant of the Nation

Finding David Feeney

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I have a rule when it comes to recently fallen politicians. Don’t stick the slipper in after they’ve left the arena. It’s unseemly and a touch callous.

I figure once they’ve moved, often ignominiously, out of the line of fire, they become non-combatants.

Truth be told, it’s more of a guideline. Happily, readers, in the case of the existentially forgetful and terminally hapless David Feeney, I am prepared to make an exception.

David Feeney resigned as the member for Batman yesterday. Sadly, he misplaced his letter of resignation. He did show the media a bus ticket he has had in his wallet since 1993. He’s going home now. Wherever that is.

Some of Feeney’s colleagues offered trite condolences and tepid expressions of support yesterday but it was impossible not to notice the gritted teeth. In Adelaide yesterday, deputy leader, Tanya Plibersek, said Feeney had made a “fine contribution” to the party but when asked if he was resigning, replied, “I’ll let David speak for himself.”

Praise any fainter than that would be in an induced coma.

In 1983 Batman was the safest Labor seat in the country, safer even than Bob Hawke’s seat of Wills just across St George’s Road. Batman has been in Labor hands since 1934, save a brief period when former Labor member for Batman, Sam Benson, was expelled from the party over his continued support for the Vietnam War. Benson won the seat as an independent in 1966 only to lose it narrowly to the colourful former Collingwood mayor, Horrie Garrick in 1969. Horrie, dragged the seat back to the safest end of the Labor pendulum until he got rolled in a preselection barney and was replaced by Brian Howe in 1977.

Now it will go to the Greens in a by-election which could be held as early as March 10. The only thing that got Feeney over the line in 2016 was Liberal preferences. The Libs will almost certainly run dead in the by-election and that will be that for Labor’s long and occasionally illustrious history in Batman.

As we’ve seen in the seat of Melbourne, when Labor loses to the Greens in an inner-city electorate, those seats don’t come back.

Brian Howe was the last genuine local to represent Labor in Batman.

He was a thoroughly decent man who became deputy Prime Minister in the Hawke-Keating governments. While he was Minister for Housing, he spent three months living in public housing to see for himself what the problems were and how they could be fixed. I’d say imagine that from a politician today but we all know it is unimaginable.

Say what you like about Howe’s successor, Martin Ferguson and he has many critics within the Labor Party, indeed to the point where the WA state branch moved to expel him four years ago. In my experience, the vowelless Mar’n was always accessible. When he was a shadow minister I would call him for a quote and a yarn and if you rang early enough, Mar’n would pick up the phone himself. No protective press secretaries or chiefs of staff acting as political bollards.

But the fact remains he was parachuted into the seat in a factional deal that rolled the locals. He wasn’t even a Melbourne bloke. These things matter. A political party can’t keep doing this without losing support from the grassroots and the punters.

When Feeney was elbowed in, in another slippery multi-factional deal that saw him go from the Senate to the Reps — from the vegetables to the animals — the local branches had been treated as door mats again. It was the beginning of the end.

I’ll call it now. Labor is gone in Batman. Ged Kearney might have stood a chance a decade ago but not now. The seat, once the jewel in the Labor crown, is never coming back.

Feeney has been the butt of many jokes and God knows, I’ve written plenty myself. In another time and under different circumstances he would have been a Labor hero. A campaign director with three state election wins under his belt — two in South Australia and one in Victoria where the Bracks government won by a record margin. A big parliamentary career beckoned.

Instead he leaves politics as a laughing stock with the once safest seat in the country about to slip through Labor’s hands.

Feeney is fated to walk the Earth, knocking on doors offering a polite if by now unnecessary political spiel to the punters, “Bill Shorten and the Labor team have some great policies. I’d like a moment of your time to talk about them. Also, is this my house?”

This article was first published in The Australian on 2 February, 2018.

 

442 Comments

  • Dismayed says:

    “There is an economic case for doing away with the rebates. Evidence from economic modelling indicates there are net savings to the public budget if rebates were removed or reduced.”
    https://theconversation.com/private-health-insurance-rebates-dont-serve-their-purpose-lets-talk-about-scrapping-them-91061

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    To cap off Elon Musk’s SpaceX launch yesterday of the Falcon Heavy rocket, Mr Insider, the SpaceX Falcon Heavy Side Boosters Landing Simultaneously at Kennedy Space Center! Words fail just brilliant.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0-pfzKbh2k

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Where did the middle bit go Henry?
      Pah tis nothing, the Apollo boys were making rocket fuel landings like shelling peas way back in 1969 without any of this fancy tech. And never disturbed so much as a grain of sand! Now that’s finesse!

  • Boadicea says:

    Goodness me, Jacqui Lambie is pissed off alright! She expected her replacement to “do the right thing” and resign immediately so she could pop back to Canberra. But he won’t. So she’s thrown him out the JLN.
    Realistically, did she really expect him to give up all those lovely perks that come with the job? – and he might even be better than her – as an independant!

  • Jean Baptiste says:

    Amazing man. After hoisting 458 kilos total in the snatch and clean and jerk Kim Jong UN transitioned to the parallel winter Olympics in North Korea on the same day, yesterday, and had success in the moguls and half pipe.*
    He remains hot favourite in todays ski jump and the luge in spite of some spectacular practice runs by his nearest rival Kim Kah Park.

    • Henry Blofeld says:

      Your 130kg Kim Jong un is an amazing “athlete” Mr Baptiste , I as very impressed with his “Grab and Gulp” of 10 large Hamburgers. POTUS Trump by the way doesn’t drink, smoke, touch drugs and enjoys top class foods. Cheers

    • Tracy says:

      Yes, but whose his partner in the two man Luge?

    • Milton says:

      Young Kim won’t be happy with you referring to him as a jerk, Jean.
      That’s a big snatch btw.

  • Carl on the Coast says:

    As the revelations of ‘extramaritals’ come flooding in, I’m j ust trying to work out if the recent push for marriage equality had anything to do with our Federal Parliament apparently being riddled with a hotbed of trysts.

  • BASSMAN says:

    Being a good Catholic but educated by the Jesuits, it never occurred for a bloke with the intelligence to score DPM gig that contraception should have been the order of the day….so the birth must have been planned.

  • Rhys Needham says:

    I’ll only be interested in the Batman by-election (notice the ‘Y’, not an ‘I’) if a Bruce Wayne runs. Hopefully in a dodgy Batsuit.

  • Dismayed says:

    The number of people training in apprenticeships has halved since 2012. the number in training is lower than 25 years ago, that is last century for those of you living in the 50’s. the coalition still talk about skills shortage. The coalition have gutted TAFE funding they are cutting university funding. The government expects to provide over 70,000 457 visa’s this year. More than the number of apprentices in training by some 15000. Plus thousands more 400 visa’s and various other work related visas. Last year immigration was at about 400,000 and the government plans to continue this level for years to come. This is the worst and most corrupt government in Australia’s history. No Surprises.

  • Dismayed says:

    hey blunt razor. “Nothing could be a clearer demonstration of how the school funding model is broken,” he said.
    The report estimated that almost 200 non-government schools raise all of the funding they need from private sources – mostly fees and charges – yet still receive almost $750m each year in “needs-based” funding.” Get someone to explain this to you.

    • Dismayed says:

      “Some of these wealthy schools – like Wesley College in Melbourne – raise $50m more than they need to meet their resourcing standard from private income alone, yet they still receive an additional $10m from the LNP government. ” This is wrong. Even a con should be able to understand this. then again?

  • Dismayed says:

    Oh yes PM bemoaning lack of pay rises. His response? Cap public service pay rises unless people take an individual agreement. no Work choices here we come again. Most corrupt government this nation has ever seen. No Surprises.

    • Dismayed says:

      Forgot to add turnbull gave his senior bureaucrats massive pay rises of 10% and more late last year along with paying consultant $hundreds of millions of dollars for “advice” but as above is forcing normal Public servant onto individual agreements if they want more than 2% pay rise. most corrupt government in Australia’s history. No Surprises.

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