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Hazzards of entertaining the masses, one presser at a time

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NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard. Picture: James Gourley/AAP

Pity the lot of our public administrators in these difficult times.

Governments are imperfect organs and they will make mistakes. Not, it must be said, with poor intentions. At the federal level, it’s difficult to find fault.

Paul Keating once referred almost apologetically to state MPs as low calibre, .22 pop guns when something with a little more kick is needed to get the job done. The states and territories have been reasonably good overall through these early days of the pandemic with one notable exception: the New South Wales government which has been a showcase of bad performative art like they’ve been running around trying catch the virus by waving a plastic resealable bag around in the air.

The casual air in which the NSW government waved through four cruise ships into Circular Quay, allowing infected passengers loose on the populace might be seen as a sort of typical state balls up except for the fact that just weeks prior, the cruise liner, Diamond Princess, had been locked out at harbour in Yokohama, Japan with Australian passengers having to be evacuated, brought home and placed in quarantine.

I am reasonably sure it made the news at the time.

Having learnt nothing from that episode, the sister ship, the Ruby Princess was permitted to disembark 2700 passengers at Circular Quay on March 19. Of all infection hot spots or points of origin, it accounts for the equal highest number of COVID-19 fatalities with five of its passengers having died.

Four hundred of those on board who disembarked have tested COVID-19 positive accounting for a tick under ten per cent of the total of all recorded cases of COVID-19 in Australia.

The duck shoving on who made the call persists to this day, a crow caw of bickering between NSW and the Feds — the state Department of Health, the federal Department of Agriculture, who have carriage over the Bio-Security Act, and Border Force. The fact remains it was down to NSW Health to pull the pin on that floating virus incubator and three others.

When the ‘Live’ icons disappeared from our sport channels, when the cinemas became no-go areas, when the theatres closed their doors, we were left bereft of entertainment, leaving us to fixate on news services which seem little more than a rolling series of press conferences these days.

Still we may glean some amusement from them if we look hard enough. It’s pretty much all we have left.

Two weeks ago, in one of the more bizarre press conferences in a strong field, New South Wales Health Minister, Brad Hazzard stepped forward to offer something of a mea culpa.

It started badly with Hazzard coughing into his hand and then, perhaps understanding his COVID-19 faux pas, coughed again into his bent elbow. But moments later he was giving his face a massage, rubbing his eyes and running a finger dangerously close to his left nostril before clearing his throat and taking care of business.

“If I had my opportunity to have my two bob’s worth, with the benefit of what we now know about those … people I’d have said yeah, maybe we should hold them on the ship,” the ironically named minister said.

Yeah, maybe?

Look, it’s bad, Brad. Your department has unleashed a virulent epidemic on an unsuspecting population but don’t beat yourself up about it. That’s why they put erasers on pencils.

If you were bemused by Hazzard’s performance, it was followed just minutes later by something even more jaw dropping, starring NSW Police and Emergency Services Minister, David Elliott, the Minister who decided Paris was a much nicer place to be at Christmas time than the inferno in southern New South Wales. Remember him?

A week later, he slunk back into the country and resumed his duties as if nothing had happened. Regrets, he had a few but then again, too few to mention.

The presser featured Elliott and Assistant Commissioner of NSW Police, Karen Webb and another official whose name I didn’t catch but was probably dragged in to make up the numbers for a human rose between two thorns mis en scène.

Elliott and Webb harrumphed about people failing to heed the message of social distancing which might have been a timely and useful public announcement except for the fact they did so while standing shoulder to shoulder presumably to give the media a nice, tight shot for the evening news.

View image on Twitter

Having infected not just the state but the country with nary a peep into the rear-view mirror, the NSW government moved on to set about punishing the people of New South Wales on the off chance they might spread the infection they themselves had kicked off.

While Victoria and Queensland had earlier prescribed on-the-spot fines of a gorilla and change to scofflaws thumbing their noses at lockdowns, the Premier State aimed for the more Himalayan peaks of draconian sanctions with maximum penalties of an 11 grand fine and/or six months in the clink.

That’s right. If you’re not social distancing they’re going to bang you up in a tiny bathroom with a man bearing some lovely facial tattoos that really make you think who will make social distancing problematic at best.

I pity the states who don’t have a David Elliott or a Brad Hazzard. In New South Wales, if we didn’t have a David Elliott or a Brad Hazzard, we’d have to create them for entertainment value alone. But is there enough of them to go around?

This column was first published in The Australian on 3 April, 2020

186 Comments

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    Today’s High Court Full Judgement in the case “Pell vs The Queen”, Mr Insider, where Pell was set free after his Conviction was Quashed. I make no comment either way, simply an Historical Document for those interested.

    https://tinyurl.com/vgsg9qx

  • Boa says:

    I see that Jacinda Ardern is considering her legal options now that the Ruby Princess debacle has reared its head in NZ too. Seems a crew member flew in from virus-ridden Italy and joined the ship there. Now it seems that they have cases directly linked back to the Ruby P.
    That ship must have been riddled with it. Even if NSW Health stuffed up majorly, surely the captain must have known they had a problem and should have been legally bound to keep the passengers on board until tests results were known. What a hornet’s nest.

  • John L says:

    It looks like there is an effort to shift the blame for the Ruby Princess to the Minister of Ports.
    It is not a bad ploy because it could be argued by those trying to save their embarrassment that he has some long term skin in the game for keeping good relations with the cruise liners while others have not. or alternately he is more junior.
    One needs to know all the factions in the Libs to get an understanding of this in fighting. which I do not.

  • Mack the Knife says:

    Well, we have always known that politicians are out of their depth most of the time, when faced with an emergency or crisis they really show their true worth. What a bunch. Perhaps we should write more letters like the one on the link when one is exasperated by people paid for by our taxes. Didn’t know the guy was so articulate, especially being a drummer.

    https://twitter.com/Sky_Lee_1/status/1246911929840525315/photo/1

    As an aside, has anyone noticed how supermarkets are gouging the hell out of the public at the moment? Our usual brand of dish washing liquid went from $3.50 a bottle to $8.50 a bottle, now settled at $5.50 a bottle. Also, whats going on with eggs? Have the chickens all been put in quarantine? Why are there no eggs and other items on the shelves? I bought eggs the other day only to get home and find I paid full price for a box of 10, not even a dozen. Didn’t even know eggs came in a 10 box. World has gone mad.

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      Give ALDI the big German Supermarket a go, Mack, you will save and the quality is just as good if not better than the other Ripoff Merchants.

      Cheers , stay healthy and safe as we

      • John L says:

        Henry
        If the other supermarkets had the same purchasing policy as Aldi there would not be as food processor left in Australia

    • Trivalve says:

      Reads this after coming in from a spot of drum practice in the garage. Hmmph.

      • Mack the Knife says:

        Hi Trivalve, you know drummers are the butt of muso jokes. Funny thing is, most I’ve met are smarter than the guys out front. My dear old dad had a recording of Buddy Rich giving his band members a serve after a rehearsal that must have been below par. Battle of wits with Buddy would have been a challenge, as would be matching his colourful vocabulary

        Set up Tommy Lee’s drum kit at a Motley Crue gig one day, He must have bought the frame from a NASA testing facility. That thing would have put out 3 or 4 g’s at least when in motion, and he never missed a beat or a cymbal.
        https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-2082119/Motley-Crues-Tommy-Lee-The-worlds-360-degree-rotating-drum-kit.html

        it also, the version that we set up, would spin as well as rotate.

        • Trivalve says:

          You were a roadie in a former life?? Now it comes out…

          • Mack the Knife says:

            Official title was loader, but me and a couple of mates used to get extra hours doing change overs, and road crews doing the tour are fairly small to save costs so they need help setting up. You know, in the late eighties during the downturn in the oil industry. Got to see a lot of shows, met a few legends, lots of free drinks in the green room, free t-shirts and had a ball basically…. and got paid for it too!

          • Razor says:

            I suspected the old fella had a misspent youth Triv!

  • BASSMAN says:

    If there is a way of going back in the blogs to when Pell was 1st convicted I said he would eventually get off because of his links with established conservative power-especially politicians. They look after their own. Right up to the Supreme Court. I also said even though I believed he is guilty as sin most of the evidence was circumstantial and very difficult to prove. Now Pell will be looking for a huge compensation payout courtesy of taxpayers. I found it interesting that the ABC was allowed to introduce others that claimed to be molested during the appeal process. It concerns me that they have also waited so long to step forward?

    • The Bow-Legged Swantoon says:

      Hey B’MAN,

      Pell got off because the full bench of the High Court unanimously found there is a “significant possibility” he is innocent. Whatever speculation you might have made about his connections to conservative politicians, those connections are entirely irrelevant to the outcome.

      I’m not taking a side on this, just saying that the High Court is bound to consider the facts, not who a defendant’s mates are. (And admittedly, they aren’t always quite as diligent about the facts as they might be).

    • Tracy says:

      It isn’t over yet Bassy
      Wondering when the findings about Pell from the RC will be released

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      Bollocks, BASSY, Bollocks. Good grief the Conservatives are a writhing mess of corruptness and mystique arnt they, according to to you, but news flash chappie they arnt.

      Our Legal Process is the best there is bar none. I have no opinion re Pell one way or another but from my vantage point the Legal Processes seemed to have be followed to conclusion.

      Cheers, stay safe as we

    • Mack the Knife says:

      High Court says he was wrongly convicted. Do you also object to others being convicted on a miscarriage of justice being compensated? His claim to compensation has not been announced, maybe it won’t even happen. You might not like the decision Bassy, but one has to abide by the courts ruling. Perhaps the Victorian Prosecutor’s case was weak, maybe they need to give themselves an uppercut.

      • Boa says:

        https://abclisten.page.link/hXbKG4vpn7cw3A657.
        If you have the ABC Listen app, this was a discussion on the Law Report on RN this morning. Rational and unbiased discussion – and interesting.
        Personally I think justice was done. If one has no faith in the highest court of the land it makes a mockery of the law, surely? There was an element of doubt and the attached link does not for one minute suggest the plaintiff was lying – but rather that the prosecution failed to prove it’s case.
        This may have been a case where it would have been preferable to have a judge only. Was the jury feeling pressured to return a guilty verdict? One cannot really blame them. Feelings ran, and are still running, high.

    • John L says:

      Hi Bassy,
      Much of the developed world has gone from being at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy to the bottom in a matter of a few months.
      I do not think people have the capacity to care at the moment.
      A lot of the other WOKE stuff will disappear off the agenda also as we all go back to basics and rebuild.
      By the way, I have no idea who the NSW Labor Opposition leader is – do we have an opposition?

    • Carl on the Coast says:

      You seem to have a muddled, if not inexact , understanding of our judicial system BASSY.

    • Razor says:

      I stated on here back then Bassy the matter would get hosed out on appeal and hosed out it did. No comment on guilt or innocence just the rule of law, particularly around evidence and the standard of proof; Beyond reasonable doubt. The dissenting justice in the Victorian Court of appeal, the only one with any criminal law experience, belled the cat well and truly. Read his dissenting opinion. I have, it is illuminating.

      There is no conspiracy Bassy. The High Court of Australia tossed it out 7 to zip and they represent different ideologies and experience and are beholden to nobody. I spoke this late this afternoon with one of Queensland’s most senior judicial officers. He is the most honest, fearless and outstanding lawyer I know. After we concluded what we had to do we spoke about the High Court decision. He stated he had read it and in his opinion it was legally correct and unassailable on every point. It’s a shame some of the more outraged commentators haven’t read it.

      It will be interesting to see if Pell goes quietly or if defamation actions begin. If so the list will be long. I think he will go quietly but I’m told he has a prickly character and is very sure of his own dignity and place in the world. He may litigate just to be a prick.

  • Dwight says:

    A Hagerstown, Maryland, winery is getting creative with social distancing solutions for its business by introducing a delivery dog to its staff.

    The dog, named Soda Pup, is a 75-pound brindle boxer armed with horse saddle bags and a vest with two pouches who delivers wine for Stone House Urban Winery in Hagerstown, Fox 5 DC reported.

    But Soda Pup does not do his deliveries alone. He is accompanied by a winery employee put on “dog patrol” to ensure customers do not feed Soda Pup anything other than ice cubes.

    I need to talk to the local brewery.

  • John L says:

    So Gladys thinks we will be in some form of lock down / social distancing until a vaccine come along.
    That could be anywhere between 6-18 months.
    If it is the latter, I think we will have to take on the Swedish and Dutch models and accept the deaths or as the military would say, collateral damage.
    Alternately, watch China to see if they can keep it at bay. If so, lock down until zero and then no people movements in or out of the country until the vaccine arrives. Even when it does, one would have to be very careful in vaccinating the whole world, That in itself would take a long time.
    If not, the economy will be totally stuffed.
    Alternately, those most vunerable are shipped off to a country town and live in splendid isolation and let the rest get on with it.
    Personally, I would take my chances with one cavaet – no respirators or ICU – especially the latter as coming out of that with damaged lungs, liver, kidneys and goodness knows what is not my idea of fun,
    Personally, I would prefer leaders who are a little tougher than the current lot.

    • Razor says:

      Gladys is full of shit JS. There won’t be a free for all but the foot will come off the pedal gradually. A vaccine is at least 15 to 18mths away and the logistics around mass vaccination in a very short period of time are horrendous. That’s what the flattening of the curve is all about. Same amount of people get the bug, just over a longer period of time. That way more people get access to advanced health care. Once a critical mass is reached and the maths say hospitals can cope, even if things start to go a little bad, then gradual normality returns. It won’t be 15 to 18mths or there will be nothing left and they are very conscious of that. I have been living this every single day 12 and up to 20hrs a day for about a month. I know the figures and the scenarios in my sleep. I have never seen behind closed doors cooperation by politicians and all levels of government like it. Bloody credit to them. If they could shut their mouths and just stick to their briefings they wouldn’t look so stupid in the media.

      • Dwight says:

        I question the vaccine. We still don’t have one for SARS or MERS. I think politicians using having a vaccine as a signpost are not making any sense.

        • Mack the Knife says:

          Totally agree Dwight. I hate to say it, but society needs to get back to normal sooner rather than later, and natural selection will have it’s say.

  • jack says:

    As I understand it the IMF figures are based on China’s GDP figures, which no-one here believes at all. That’s why there are all these other measures, electricity consumption, purchasing indexes etc used by analysts as substitutes.

    Before the virus there were credible stories of Chinese economists saying the real growth figure was 1 per cent or lower, the US on the other hand was on quite a good growth trajectory.

    My own view is that the US was winning it’s spat with China, mainly because they had caught them at a vulnerable moment, a moment when the Chinese were trying to re set an economy which was stagnating.

    There are a lot of moving parts as to what happens next, so who knows.

    One aspect will be a trust deficit which China amy face.

    • Jack The Insider says:

      China has been growing for a long time, even accepting big doubts about their data. The US had come out of a deep recession brought on by the GFC. Not sure that imposing tariffs would have made any positive contribution to US GDP growth in any way over the last 2 years. But none of that is important now. GDP growth figures are virtually meaningless because everyone is going backwards at a fairly swift rate.

    • JOhn L says:

      There seems to be a conscious effort to separate the Chinese people from the CCP .
      Additionally separating XI from the CCP
      He looks like taking all the blame and rightly so,

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    British PM, Boris Johnson is now in Intensive Care, Mr Insider. Prayers for Boris lets hope he does recover soon. He just seemed to go down hill every day with his affliction that being the Coronavirus.

    Boris has now Deputised the Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab, to take over much of the PM’s role. The concern there is Raab up to this at all?

  • jack says:

    I think this is a far more accurate assessment of China than I have seen in the Aus or International press for a long time.

    https://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/united-states/2020-04-03/chinas-coming-upheaval

    The conclusions many well not be right, the CCP has great survival instincts and a preparedness to do anything to do just that, but the description of the present circumstance certainly fits.

    Bob Carr would do well to read it for starters.

    • Jack The Insider says:

      Little repetitive, mate but the point that Xi as the strongman making unilateral decisions without proper consultation is prone to making serious mistakes is a sensible proposition. There is another argument there that describes an increasingly unstable domestic scene. The middle class may rise up, protests may increase etc. It’s all possible but those outcomes in the article at least are predicated on the economics of China’s exports to the US which run at 18 per cent of China’s $2.2 tn total exports in a $25.3 tn economy. Those are relatively small beans. I’m using the IMF’s figures on the Chinese economy by the way.
      The greater problem is the Obama-Trump legacy has diminished the US on the world stage politically and economically. At least Obama tried to minimise China’s economic power in the region by creating the TPP. Trump walked away from it, leaving the sole economic response an increase of tariffs which is essentially a levy on US consumers. Looking at it the other way, tariff tit for tats led to US primary producers being cut out of a huge market. No one wins but the US loses more, especially so when we get to the old Catch-22 proposition of the US govt with federal debt running at 110 per cent of GDP now subsidising farmers not to grow crops. The US under Trump has dealt itself a terrible hand.
      Under the IMF’s measure of GDP – purchasing power parity which takes in to account exchange rate, China’s economy is No.1, the EU No.2 with the US third. All of these economies are and will continue to be battered by the pandemic. China is recovering now while the others remain in turmoil. At the same time China needs export markets not just in the US but around the globe and it is not hard to see a period of two to three years where global consumption is extremely low. There will be a lot of pain to go around.
      China as the dominant economic force in the world is not good for the world, especially under Xi but it remains the most likely scenario given the retreat in the US and continued political uncertainty in Europe.

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