If you grow weary of the inescapable wall-to-wall coverage of the royal wedding, just imagine what the bride and groom are going through.
I can’t be absolutely sure of this but faced with the enormity of their undertaking, Harry and Meghan might secretly be pining for a quick escape to Vegas where they would be privately married by an unconvincing Elvis impersonator.
The media frenzy means republicans can’t ignore what to us is a grim, long and drawn out piece of bad theatre but we might have some fun tomorrow by musing darkly on such regal conundrums like, what happens if Harry and Meghan have twins? Will the second born be whisked away to a distant castle with an iron mask placed on its bonce?
Full column here.
News just in Mr Insider, Harry and Meghan will become the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, their official Royal title.
Some sound advice, Mr Insider, for newlyweds such as Harry and Meghan, brought to us from the great man himself, Harry Enfield.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ivsb79-h90
Fair enough, but if you feel the need to talk about your families exploits in confidence………………… ?
“Breaking News” Royal wedding and in other inconsequential news another mass shooting at US high school. Hmmm? Dismayed.
And so it will go on. If Sandy Hook didn’t change things then nothing will.
A number of these shootings seem to be committed by students or ex-students or someone associated with the school in some tangential way (son of a teacher or disaffected former staff member). Maybe finding the core of this disaffection could go some distance to preventing further bloodshed. Gun control alone is not the answer. Nor is arming teachers.
It’s shoot to kill the order, Mr Insider, as the British Security Forces go all out to make sure the Wedding goes off without a hitch or, perish the thought, a “bang”!
https://tinyurl.com/ybvb9fh5
I hear the last royal wedding cost roughly $60 million so I’m guessing their day will have a similar price tag.
For all that ails our world & for those suffering from appalling poverty and starvation, I apologise for yet another excessive spendathon that has zero to do with helping you. Our priorities sure are FU.
We have two tellies. (OMG rich people! lol) I will be weepily watching the wedding on mine, and he… will be doing whatever he wants. If either of my bastard sons had brought me home a bride by now I probably wouldnt be so desperately happy watching this one, however, in my daughter- in -law deprived state, I shall make do.
Have a nice weekend whatever y’all decide to do.
cheers.
ps Penny outback SA? Join Razor,… over there in my “jealous of your holiday” pile.
Jeez Sheila, you’ll have to come and meet me Mum. What did I say? Hey Sheila, SHEILA! Bloody hell, I thought Usain Bolt was fast.
Wraith, I am short of a mother-in-law myself. No in-laws at all. However, it would have been interesting to explain to my father, the Colonel, how I wound up with a Russian woman. That’s a conversation I wouldn’t have enjoyed. *laugh*
I will be watching the Giro d’Italia, couldn’t give a rats arse………..might as well be blunt about it.
Well done to Sir Harry Nossy-Bloefeld, Duke of Ferrous Arnott, who has apprised us above of the startling news that Harry’s real name is Henry. Some idiot on the TV did that the other day too, conspiratorially comparing the phenomenon to some other celeb, possibly Harry Styles, who coincidentally shares this mangling of his actual name. Mind you, it’s been happening forever, until about thirty years ago when people started naming their kids with diminutives instead of the full biscuit from which said diminutives spring.
I think Harry is the diminutive of Harold. A surprising, not really , number of people, most, probably think Harry is his given name. “Young Harry” was the invention of the D of E. Shrewd old bugger.
Spot on Mr Baptiste even those who pretend they knew but didn’t. The Royal names can be a tricky place to negotiate. Cheers
Most Harolds in England are known as Hazza.
Good luck to Harry – the nicest of them all, imo. He’s had a tough time too with the trashy gossiping about his pedigree and the tragic death of his mother.