And so this is Christmas and what have our politicians done? More importantly, have they been naughty or nice?
It’s probably more of a northern hemisphere cultural contrivance that those who have been naughty are destined to receive only a lump of coal for their dastardly deeds in the preceding 364 days.
Down in the southern hemisphere a lump of coal is the only thing Scott Morrison wants for Christmas. In fact, he wants more than one and what Santa can’t provide, he’s hoping Adani can. The downside is it might cost the rest of us a billion dollars and counting. Scott needs some coal for props in the parliament and others to use as paperweights in his office. He will continue to do so until the black lung kicks in.
Santas take many forms. Even in Australia, Santas vary from outrageously jolly with luxurious thick beards to those wearing crappy polyester bristles with the elastic showing, a cushion wedged up their guts and smelling vaguely of alcohol.
In Japan, where just 1 per cent of the population is Christian, they love santa-san and they think he flies down from the moon every year to hand out gifts, which probably makes more sense than the North Pole.
A solid argument could be made that our federal MPs already have their own type of Santa who flies down on his sled from Beijing. This Santa comes in the form of generous businessmen bearing party donations. The really good thing is he comes more than once a year. In fact, pretty much whenever he likes.
My favourite of all Santas is the Amish type, Belsnickel. Belsnickel is a bad-tempered version of Santa. Dressed in rags, he turns up at your home uninvited, bangs on the front door and demands to know if children have been “impish or admirable”. Like George Christensen he carries a whip but unlike George Christensen, he is not afraid to use it.
I’ve always thought our Santa was too soft. Sure he can terrify very small kids by his sheer size and through the shocking ghastliness of his lurid outfit, but the rest of us can sidle up, leap into his lap and make demands without fear of rejection. Our Santa has to listen. Belsnickel, who looks like and really is a kind of an angry, old homeless guy, does all the talking.
So Belsnickel it is for our federal parliamentarians and have they been impish or admirable?
I’ve been checking the list and I’ve been checking it more than once.
For reasons of space, not every MP getting a gift is listed here because let’s face it, most of them aren’t that interesting.
Sam Dastyari: A job.
Tony Abbott: A job and some dignity.
Malcolm Turnbull: What do you give the amorphous blob that has everything? An endoskeleton, of course.
Bill Shorten: He’s not sure but he’s put in a call to the CFMEU to see what they’d want him to have.
Julie Bishop: She does not want Malcolm’s job. He’s performing well under great difficulty. No, she is quite satisfied with being deputy and foreign minister. Really. Wait. How many Newspolls was that again?
Bob Katter: How can we celebrate Christmas when every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland?
Pauline Hanson: Just a card, thanks. In fact, lots of cards. Maybe give James Ashby’s printing business a bell?
Kevin Andrews: I hate to be critical of a person’s appearance but let’s be honest about Kevin. The man looks like Fine Cotton on race day. For Christmas he needs a professional colouring job on that bonce of his. Maybe some blonde tips. Maybe the full Milo.
Adam Bandt: A vegan turkey with all the organic trimmings washed down with lashings of decocoanated cocoa.
George Christensen: Malcolm Turnbull’s head on a stake or he’ll resign. He means it this time. He’s not kidding around anymore.
David Feeney: A real estate portfolio, a map and a passport.
Barnaby Joyce: The Deputy PM’s list didn’t pass the High Court. The good news is he makes a perfect Christmas decoration. Just stand him right next to the tree. No batteries required.
Eric Abetz: A 1962 desk calendar for the Tasmanian senator’s desk. It won’t actually be 1962 but he can close his eyes and pretend. Ah, the good old days.
Cory Bernardi: Nothing. The Liberal Party is his gift and it keeps on giving.
Belsnickel is coming, folks, and unlike Santa, he does not mess around.
This article was published in The Australian 15 December 2017
ELECTION 2019:- the boundaries have been defined by 2 people-
1. Howard:-we must fight the election on 2 grounds a)Nationals Security (a khaki ‘yellow peril election’)…in other words bang the terror can, demonise refugees and sing the old ‘Labor will lose control of our borders’ song and “We will decide blah blah blah” and pray for a terror attack close to home.
b)”Our economic record”….well if they fight the election on
that theme they will get slaughtered. Highest taxing, biggest spending, highest deficit govt in history and still surging.
2. Morrison:- he will make Bible bashing an election issue saying “We have lost our religious freedom. I want to stand up for people of faith blah blah blah” This from a bloke who treated refugees so cruelly. In reality, he wants to pass laws which will add to discrimination in order to ‘protect religious worship’ when such laws already exist!
Guess he wants to create a ‘Bible Belt’ voting block like in the USA. Makes sense.
http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/im-not-going-to-put-up-with-it-anymore-morrison-vows-to-defend-christianity-in-2018-20171221-h08jg8.html
Where is Peter Reith?
I thought your repeated use of “blah blah blah” in the context of your overall message was very apt BASSY.
Glad it didn’t go over your head Toaster….keep cheering them.They love U
Razor Dec 20 11.17pm
Just caught your lovely post Razor so thank-you mate. Nice of you.
I’d given up on our to & fro when you turned weird & called me ‘puff’??
This girl’s way too tough for ‘puff’…….😋🐬🕊
Can someone let me know when Christmas is over…people are insane out there. 💳
I’m with you Bella. I hibernate until its over
Puff was smoke Bella not you!
BASSMAN- went looking for Frank Zappa’s influences. Didn’t find any he acknowledged, but found lists of artists he admired and songs he liked. http://wiki.killuglyradio.com/wiki/Category:Favorite_Music
He was a big fan of ‘Aqualung’ and rated it the album enjoyed most. Link to his favorite artists from this list of his favorite songs. My favorite Zappa was his last studio album ‘Jazz from Hell’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J7nglMsPnY – clip is 34 mins. Zappa wrote a lot of jazz that never gets acknowledged.
Aqualung is one of my favourites. Love Martin Barr’s guitar solo in that song.
Igor Stravinsky, Edgard Varese and Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson are all influences Frank mentioned many times.
I am very surprised he was that fond of Aqualung. Never heard that before, although very fond of it myself. I guess having a title song about a filthy homeless guy who likes watching schoolgirls through a fence and another about the [ahem] “interesting” behaviour of one of those schoolgirls would appeal to Frank’s love of anthropological song writing. Another one about weird sexual behaviour I rediscovered recently is Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy, which is one of the most disturbing things ever written and probably a true story:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBK3Y8EgJCM
How about we put sanctions on Saudi Arabia for their role in the horror happening in Yemen??
Everybody is too scared of Saudi Arabia, Milton. Personally I think I they are absolute mongrels….
Well said Milton just shocking isn’t it and no one seems to care. Cheers
Aint going to happen. The Saudis have the wood on the West. Not that the West is any better.
Looking for justice is a sign of imperfect devotion to Jesus Christ.
It’s Christmas time, a time for celebrating the birth of Baby Jesus and the giving of gifts.
Here’s yours. Get this into ya!
https://utmost.org/the-overshadowing-of-god%E2%80%99s-personal-deliverance/
Pray, consume, be silent, pray some more, die.
And remember dear child, there are things that will not be revealed to us in our time on Earth.
It may seem to us unfair that 20 million children will die of preventable causes each year, millions will be slaughtered and maimed, but it is all part of Gods wondrous plan.
He moves in mysterious ways.
Very bloody mysterious, because He is a narcissistic , schizophrenic lunatic.
You better not pout, and I’ll tell you why,
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=dante's+vision+of+hell&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjQg6jWtp7YAhUIErwKHV3xAKMQsAQIPQ&biw=1366&bih=623
Bless youse all, merry Christmas.
hillsong morrison wants to do more of this to Australia. Treacle down does NOT work it is designed to stick at the top. Hillsong is also supporting TPP II which allows those that sign up to it to bring in their own workers to other countries. Australia cannot afford the cons con.
“The benefits of the Republican tax bill go primarily to the very wealthy, who will get 83 percent of the gains by 2027, according to the Tax Policy Center, a nonpartisan think tank.
Meanwhile, more than half of poor and middle-income households will see their taxes rise over the next 10 years; the rest will receive only a small fraction of the total tax benefits.”
https://theconversation.com/gop-tax-plan-doubles-down-on-policies-that-are-crushing-the-middle-class-89047
Oh child, you are straying from the true path.
http://www.johnwrinehart.com/god-loves-rich-people/
Give it all to the rich, make God Happy.